♬ ☾ L I G H T // O F // M Y // L I F E ☾ ♬

Aloha,

  On Tuesday 24 June 2014 at 1:10pm, Walter Whitfield first of his name passed away. Born in 1921 in England; Walter lived a full life accomplishing many things and raising a large family who have all gone on to raise children of their own. He was more than a man who had accomplished much, he was my grandad.

  Grandad a few years back you made me a family tree, I've kept that document and added to it in recent times. You told me that getting old was a part of life and rather than fear death, I should look to what I can achieve in life.

  So today as I stare out across the sunlit sky, with not a cloud to be seen. The trees and flowers in full bloom, the sea sparkling the bluest silver i've seen it in a long time, I have these words to say.
'Time borrowed is now being repayed, a debt we will all pay. Time is precious and will pass regardless of our actions. You lived a full life, achieving much and giving your family everything you had. We live our lives because you gave our parents life. There are enough of us to count as a small colony and though we cover all corners of the map, we are a tightly bound family that puts love and family first'.

  When I was about seven, I was terrified of a ghost a kid at school had told me about. I wouldn't go to sleep. You picked me up in your arms and told me that I needed to forget all of that, that no ghost was going to come for me. I shut my eyes as tightly as I could and when I woke up it was morning. To that day when things have scared me, I have shut my eyes and thought of that memory. I've opened my eyes and told myself that I would not be finished by this thing that now frightened me.

  You told me that I was my mothers daughter and that made you proud; you said I was creative, that I had a good strong head on my shoulders. You shed a tear and said that I should look out for her because though she's strong in spirit, she needs her family. That's never been more true today and I am now a woman, I cry when I am sad but I also support those close to me when they too are suffering.

  To my aunties, uncles, cousins, those I see from time to time and those I've not yet had the pleasure of meeting. You're all in my thoughts. I love each and everyone of you, though some of you I may not know as well as others. I am proud of all the things you achieve, I love seeing your photos and your updates on my social media feed. I remember when we would run around village halls playing games and finding mischief at every corner. It feels like three lifetimes ago now, but never forgotten.

  Though I feel extremely sad today, I feel blessed to have a large family that even though we don't all see each other we still care. For that reason grandad, I know you'd tell me not to mourn a life lost, but to celebrate the life that was given. Beneath your strong and wise exterior was a softer nature and I am inspired and in respect of both men. I am proud of all you brought to this world. I only hope that one day my journey will have been as long and well lived as yours.

  So I look now to the future, people tend to forget that we live on a ball of rock hurtling a million miles a minute through our solar system. That ancient civilisations have risen and fallen in time. We get caught up in our shoe box scenario's but today I am aware of the universe and all the stars and the people that cover this planet. I hope wherever you are now, looking over us that you are at peace. Rest In Peace Grandad. Sleep well.

Love Krystal Gemma ☾ ♬

♬ ☾ COSMIC DUST ☾ ♬

  Sorry it's been quite a while since I last posted here, but to be honest I think I was waiting until I was ready with a direction for my posts. LITTLEBEARWOLF is my hub for all things MUSIC. This is my place to share my other passions with you, my adventures as such. The thing was though, I was sort of having a passion block; odd right? Considering the work I do, I LOVE. I just couldn't muster the enthusiasm to portray anything worthwhile. I was taught growing up, 'If you have nothing interesting or helpful to say, say nothing at all'.

  I've been thinking a lot recently, about 'HAPPINESS' which for such a joyous word seems to be appearing more and more of a tabboo subject. I think this is partly because we are taught from a young age that we must be successful and have dreams and hopes and wealth to be happy. If another celebrity rehab stint isn't enough to convince you otherwise, I don't know what will. I've learnt from living away from home, in my most depressed chapter, where I felt like a prisoner in my own life, living off hand me down tins of food and the kindness of those around me; that it's in our most basic stages we can achieve the truest kind of happiness.

  Although I am eternally greatful to no longer be in that situation in that chapter, what it taught me, will stay with me forever. I am stronger than I think. I can be happy with very little and above all else it is how you live your life, not what you do with it, that in the end will bring you happiness.

  Each of us are different, no one looks exactly the same, feels the same or has all the same loves. I think life is not so much about finding yourself but creating yourself. It isn't until your mid to late twenties that you even sort of come into your own skin. If I take anything from my peers, is that enjoy the journey of growing older, of living your life. I feel at my best right now in my life. I've been better off, I've been more innocent but I am happy now. When I look in the mirror, I see me and that's something no-one can take away from me.

  Life is so unbelievably fragile, it's over in the blink of an eye. Recently I've read mottos 'DON'T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY, IT'S NOT AS THOUGH YOU'LL MAKE IT OUT ALIVE'. I particularly like this one. 'YOU'RE A SPEC OF COSMIC DUST TO THE UNIVERSE, WHATEVER YOU DO IS GOING TO HAVE NO LASTING EFFECT ON THE UNIVERSE SO DON'T STRESS IT'. Alright, so they have the potential to be the biggest murderers of motivation, 'If I'm so inconsequential, what's the point'. At the same time, they're true. Maybe you'll think theres no point and do nothing. PERHAPS you'll think, 'okay, overall it's going to have no lasting effect but F*** it, I'm going to give my all anyway'. When it's over, you will say 'I DID IT' rather than I wish I had done it.

  Don't harm others, don't bring hatred to the world. I see many people attacking others instead of facing their own demons. Your demons will never go while you manifest them, so if something is troubling you, seek it out, remove it from your life. Bringing others pain, will get you nowhere in the long run.

  I try not to think too hard on what life is all about, I try not to think too hard on what comes after. I prefer to wake up and face my day. Just remember that everything inside your little box is nothing compared to the box the Earth sits in and in turn the box the universe sits in. Time and life will carry on, sometimes you'll feel like you really want to go no further. I have those days and I can't stand them. I urge you to keep going, keep breathing. I can't tell you why, but all I can say is i'm glad I haven't stopped because life is beautiful, sometimes you just have to look a little harder to see it.

 There will be BAD days. There will be days that you never want to live again. There will also be AMAZING days, days you will think of and reminisce on for all time to come. Take what you will from life and remember only you can be you. While you may have no lasting effect on the universe, you have a lasting effect on the people you meet. On the people you share time with.

Happiness isn't what you do with your life. It's how you live your life.

 John Lennon once said

“When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” 

  So whatever you're doing today, whoever you're with or not with. Remember it's not going to be a great day because of what you do, it's going to be a great day because of how you use your time.

  Life is a constant balancing act of family, friends, career infused with all your human emotions. Of course it's going to be a trainwreck from time to time, allow yourself to make mistakes.

A 1000 years ago, we weren't worried whether we had the latest trends down, whether we had a 3 or 6 bedroom house in a good neighbourhood. We were worried about taking shelter from storms, finding enough food to survive. While society has evolved. Humans still need those basic things. You don't need the latest designer shoes, you do need clean water. We're very lucky that we live in a society where those things are provided on tap. It's nice to have designer treats. You don't NEED them.

  We need very little to survive, it seems we've been mis-taught we need A LOT to really live. This here my little corner of the web, is my place to share my little adventures and life with you. I live in a 21st century country where I am lucky to be able to make my own choices and do what motivates me. I'm not looking for mansions and money. I'm just here trying to make it through each of my given days. I'd say i'm a hippy trying to make it in a world of robots and skyscrapers. I'd rather live in a hobbit-house and eat bread and cheese, grow my own vegetables and sleep under the stars. Maybe one day i'll find a way to do both. Maybe I won't want those things at all this time next year. Either way, they aren't a today problem.

I hope you'll pop back and enjoy my posts. Please feel free to share your thoughts on my posts by leaving comments.

LOVE & PEACE

♥ ☮

KG

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LITTLEBEARWOLF  © Krystal Gemma.