If you follow my Twitter account (@littlebearwolf ) you will have seen that I have been moving this week. Now I have moved a whole bunch of times in previous years, but never fully leaving my parents home, never with any degree of permanence.
So this move has been stressful like any other, with the added notion that this is with a degree of permanence. That the boyfriend I am moving in with, will be not only be the person I share the next year with but it will all be in our own space.
I am incredibly happy about that, sharing a space with the person I love most in this world is an incredible feeling. Knowing that my best friend will be there in the morning and in the evening. However this being the same year I also decided to take all of my work freelance and within the realm of the subjects in which I am passionate about.
That is sure enough, enough to make anyone queasy. You don't want to give up your work because you love it, you don't want to pass up living with the person that you love either.
So is it possible? To have a job you enjoy, a nice place to live and be comfortable? I guess that comes down to us each individually.
I've never been a millionaire or extremely wealthy so I don't really know what it's like to live in luxury constantly, I do know that growing up in a humble household has made me appreciate what I have. That with even very little you can be very comfortable.
Maybe my place of residence isn't exactly your idea of heaven but it's not you that has to live there. I've only been moved in two days but I feel already at home. It's not fully furnished, i'm not used to living away from my family, I've been feeling somewhat fragile. I realise it's the fear.
Over a year and a half ago was the last time I had anything that resembled a 'picturesque life' and I ended all those things to go in chase of something I was passionate about. Less than a year and a half later it has brought me close to my best friend in the entire world, it's brought me to my own living space with that person and it's brought me to not only working for a company that I completely believe in but also to have started my own company and be working on several projects.
It's been a roller-coaster and there have been some incredible ups and the lowest of low's. I've not seen my hardest day yet, I've not had my happiest. I've got one hell of a story to tell.
If you'd told me in Feb 2013 that in November 2014 my life would be what it is, I wouldn't have believed you.
Yet here we are.
I am strong in nature but there are things that scare me, that test me and that send me running in the opposite direction, yet I am still here. I haven't given in. I won't give in. Where I may have walked before, this is my passion, my drive and everything I want.
Be able to admit when you have made a mistake, look after yourself and the things that capture your heart. If you're struggling, ask for help. If you're tired take a break. Mostly appreciate that we are just cosmic dust spinning in the universe and if something ultimately is right, things will work themselves out, working yourself up will get you nowhere.
Life isn't perfect. We aren't perfect. Sometime we will fall. It's getting back up and walking again that helps to carry on.
My troubles seem pointless to a person starved of clean water or attacked for their orientation or gender. Yet they are important to me.
So remember you never know what other people are facing and you never know what anyone else is going through. So be a friend. Let people be your friend, don't face troubling times alone, it won't help you in the long run, if you have people around you who are willing to help. Let them.
As 2014 draws to a close, I have never felt like a more clear version of me. Even on the bad days. There are things to be improved, sure. There are things to work toward, sure. Generally I've never felt happier or more passionate about things.
My advice to you before the mad, panic and rush of Christmas begins, is take a moment to look at yourself, are you happy with what you have done with your time. Are you happy that you have given it your all?
2014 has been my most challenging year to date, it's also been my most exciting and happy. No one ever said life would be easy. It is what we make of it.
Take care of yourselves this winter and remember to take a moment to breathe.
I try to focus on the good in my life. The fact that I work for a studio I love, with people and musicians I admire, I have a best friend who stands by me no matter what and I get to now go home to him each night.
I no longer look to the hills that surround the town I grew up in, for this is my home now. This is where my journey is leading me.
KG
LITTLEBEARWOLFCOVE
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