The Pursuit of Happiness

Now and then it's good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy

Guillaume Apollinaire

I read a really interesting article earlier by Zoe about attitude and posting on the internet. This was around the same time that I watched a couple of trailers for the final installment of The Hobbit. It was actually while watching a video no more than three minutes long that I fell apart.

Why I Stopped Daily Vlogging - Zoe's article.



So what does Zoe's article and five actors talking about the launch of their film have in common?

As a blogger that uses her blog within her professional work, Zoe talks about how negative comments and negative atmosphere's on the internet can affect your life, especially when you're putting something personal out there to share with the rest of the world.
Now my blog has nowhere near the identity that Zoe's does, yet people say, your blog is part of your career, do you aspire to be like bloggers like Zoe? When actually Zoe's blog is entirely different to mine and though I love it, I wouldn't compare the two. I wouldn't take a slice of pizza and compare it to my favourite cheesecake, I like both but what's the point in comparing them?
I would like to say here and now that I think Zoe should be proud of everything she has worked hard for.
To anyone who feels the need to pour their cruelty and malice into what others are creating, that you should know it is only a reflection of the person spreading the evil not of the one it is aimed toward.

Where I'll be happy to discuss the circle of fifths, the idea of filming myself doing winged eyeliner terrifies me. (Though it is thanks to Zoe that I can actually create a fishtail plait in my hair, so I guess the fact she helps even the clumsiest of girls achieve beautiful looks using what they have naturally is similar to what I'd hope musicians feel when they are featured -I'd like to think I provide musicians with a place that they can be presented and share their music with the world on my blog in a positive way.) Yet I find myself subconsciously creating ambition lists in my mind. Where are you taking the blog next? How are you going to expand? In 18 months time what will you say you have achieved?
umm 18 months ago my life was entirely different to what it is now, so how on Middle-Earth am I meant to answer that?

The person applying this pressure? Myself for the most part. There are others and I try to take that in my stride, which is all part of myself learning to overcome and take on board criticism and advice, while my music blog is a helpful tool in my career I do find myself applying constant pressure to keep that moving forward does help keep me focused. The world moves forward at an alarming rate and not answering my emails for even a day means coming back to a hundred or so emails to respond to. Yet my blog is just one part of my life, my job is made up of several other parts as well as art and performance work which aren't related to my music job and having a private life has for the last month left me exhausted.

Yet watching the video today of Sir Ian Mckellan talking about the years since the first film premiered brought me ever so aware of actually just how much I have achieved in the last 13 or so years. See I was 13 when I saw the first film and there was no Twitter, no Facebook, no blogging and the work I find myself able to do today was just not really even a thing. I was starting to formulate dreams and taking a step into the world as a teen.

Tell 13 year old Krystal that by the time the final installment of the films is being released she will run two written blogs, have an initiative of music bloggers that provide artists with promotion, her own promotion projects and a day job with a recording studio and she would have thought you'd given her the world. Really? Those incredible things will be just a part of my normal day?! WOW!

Yet here I am 13 years later telling myself I'm not good, why haven't you achieved this yet, why aren't you doing that yet, stop being lazy, you don't need a day off, be better, do more, now.

Why? For the love of all that is good KG, just take a moment to put everything in stock and realise that these steps are only the first in the rest of your life, why are you in such a rush? Take your time and enjoy every moment of it, when you look back it won't be what you did or didn't do, it will be how you felt about doing it or not doing it that you are thinking about.

While this post is a reminder to myself to relax and keep working but take a bit of a breather, it's also my way of providing the world with a little feature to say I bet you're doing better at life than you think and have a bit of faith but don't take it all too seriously.

We are after all cosmic dust hurtling our way through an unknown universe at 45688645324 miles a minute.

I plan to go and see The Hobbit in December and celebrate (and probably bawl my eyes out in places) the journey that Peter Jackson and the talented cast and team have created for us all to enjoy over the past decade. With the knowledge that I saw the first film as a kid and I see the last as a young woman who has overcome confidence issues and learnt to find her own way in the world doing what she loves. While I didn't get to appear in one of them (sorry teenage KG) I have achieved many things I am proud of over the last decade.

While Bilbo's story comes to a close, my own is only just at the beginning.