Okay, so there are always going to be subjects that on the whole, humanity will always use as a battlefield. I vowed never to blog about image, politics and social issues as it goes without saying that if you breathe life into a fire, it will only become stronger. I feel no need to add to the issues humanity creates for itself.
However, that being said I am breaking that vow tonight to share a post that has been whirring around my brain for the last few days. To the point that the thoughts have become so prominent and tangled amongst my being, that even the choices i'm making outside of the web-world I live in are being affected.
The subjects that have been on my mind touch on image and social issues. I don't know quite what everyone's deal with image is. How is focusing on someone else's image ever going to advance your own life. When you judge a person, it is not a reflection of their personality, but of your own.
So I'm not going to name call, name drop or stereotype. I'm simply going to share my opinion of the subject, in the vain hope that getting it off my chest will free my thoughts up to the subjects I actually feel extremely passionate towards and may at least help just one of you out of the dark.
I'm fairly little at 5'3. After a childhood of dancing, I have grown to develop a muscular, athletic build. After a childhood of being called bony, when I started to show a little curve in my late teens, I found a confidence boost. I used to look through catalogs and want to be a size 12, except these days I realise how futile that was, as what even is a size 12.
As no store, or even two items within a store represent a consistent sizing system, to refer to yourself as a particular size seems fairly ridiculous. Considering we live in a world where we want to be accepted regardless of race, gender, persuasion, look and career, to be so desperate to be defined as a number seems very odd.
I have clothes in my closet that range from age 14-15 through women's to a men's M. So if you'd like to waste your time working out what size that makes me, go ahead but I feel no need to converse or spare you my time.
My weight generally fluctuates over a stone difference depending on time of year, mood and phase of life and again if you're so desperate to judge me on my number than please understand I'll have nothing to do with you. For when you judge someone, you have no time to love them.
I'm very sorry if weight takes over your life and you feel trapped with the on-going battle you face, I've spent my life around someone with an eating disorder and I would never wish the suffering she struggles with on anyone. I hope that those around you, provide you with the support you need.
I bet you're beautiful, but my saying it won't make you feel it.
The same goes the other way, if you have curves and more as long as it's not detrimental to your health, who gives a flying f*** what 'people' think. As long as you're comfortable and feel good, than that's really all that matters.
I have times when I feel great and times when I think 'okay need to be a bit careful and look after myself now', but ultimately I don't regard anyone's opinion but my own of my image. At the end of the day, no one else needs to be me, if you're having to figure out my flaws to improve your own confidence, honey something's fundamentally wrong.
Gok Wan (who may I add that a (and if you're reading this by some magic enchantment Gok, I totally respect you and highly revere what you do for the confidence of womankind but you are a) man and if we really need a man to show us how to love our bodies, something really is very wrong with us females. We go on about not needing no man, being some career driven, sexual goddess with the perfect winged eyeliner who also is allowed to be Bridget Jones; yet we tear ourselves apart looking in the mirror and we tear each other apart (which is more savage than THAT red wedding).
In a world where no two humans (even twins) look EXACTLY the same or have the same passions, why do we allow ourselves to be stereotyped into a shape or number from a system that's older than the women adhering to it.
I appreciate all of the females I see and no offence but I couldn't care less what size you are or how you dress, as long as your not endangering your health. I have far bigger things to be focusing on. For one this ball of rock that's hurtling through space at 4966856523434 miles an hour round a HUGE burning ball of gas and I'm supposed to be worried that I've put a pound on?! I'm more interested in learning how something as small as an atom can create this, the world as we know it and why I am afraid of spiders when I am 454564562453453 times bigger than (most) of them.
As far as my own perception of image goes, I try to treat my body like a temple, I try to eat healthily and enjoy things in moderation. I won't starve myself to fit into something, I'll simply buy it a little larger. (Given that we live in an economy that needs throw away fashion to survive (if it's made to last, you won't buy more) than I highly doubt that the sizes are fair anyway.)
All i'm saying is the media is made up of people, people who are told to write bullshit stories about image, 'celebrities' and size by other people. They are no more powerful than you or I, except you have the power and the choice to not read the bullshit they feed you. For every detrimental article, there is one that builds confidence.
So please see your beauty because you really are one of a kind and there will never be another like you.
That's enough, let's look now at the other harbinger of doom on my thoughts. Social Media. We thrive on it, as bloggers we use it as a tool to gain traffic, share our posts and build our profile.
People get so torn up over it. If you're really concerned over how many followers or 'friends' you have, I'd suggest delete your profile because you're not using it right.
I have over a hundred 'friends' on social media, yet less than 5 that I would call if my life depended on it, I'm fully aware of that fact and it doesn't bother me.
I have a handful of people that I trust and love unconditionally and everyone else is simply a pleasure to know. There is no room for jerks.
I don't blog because I want to be famous. I blog because I LOVE writing, sharing and music. When I had no experience or a career to speak of, it became my tool to work towards the dream career. I don't really know what that is, I'm just enjoying the journey for now.
Fame and fortune are dangerous cards to ask for. Your'e giving away the one important thing -anonymity. For money that won't buy you happiness or the answers. For fame, people presume they own you, people presume they have a right to discuss, spit on and glorify your personal life. They begin to live their lives how you would live yours, which isn't what the aim is, you're hoping to inspire people to be confident in themselves.
To be well known for your art, is slightly different. To me celebrities are not to be envied. Artists, doctors, scientists, professors, people with exceptional talent and character, these are the respected people. The people to be inspired by.
I don't blog in the hope that I'll be surrounded by fans of screaming people who aspire to be me. I blog in the hope that one person reading it may listen to the band I have shared, or that they may find some confidence or inspiration from my words. If through doing that, I end up being known for my blog than okay, I'll have some bridges to cross and hurdles to jump. I don't do what I do for fame or freebies, I do it because it's what I am passionate about. If that changes than I'll do something else. I'll tell you something for free, I'll never let people's opinion affect me, because as long as I know I have done the right thing, been a good person and feel happy in myself than their hurtful words and rumors mean nothing.
If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.
This world is full of beauty, passion, people and life. Yet we so often focus on trouble, misery and people that we don't live, we exist. Understand that just because one person says a thing does not mean it has to be that way for you. Only you know how you feel and you are different, incredible and have your own story to tell.
I write because that is what I do best, I have friends who are nurses, teachers and scientists. Without them the world would fall apart, if we were all artists, writers and musicians, where would the world be?
You might not like writing but feel that if you aren't a blogger you aren't cool. That's not the case, you might be the person to cure cancer, you might be a mother or father to the worlds next man to walk on the moon, or woman. There's no knowing of what you might achieve.
Blogging is my life, it's how I found my way into working in the music industry. Every message of praise or offer of work is an honour and I can't help but smile, but all I'm looking for, is to keep doing what I love and live my life. Maybe five years from now I won't even blog (though that thought saddens me) I can't help but wonder what new adventure I might be treading.
All i'm trying to say is that we each are who we are. Fame and fortune don't necessarily bring happiness and peace. Be you, stand out and be different.
Maybe you hate your part time job, but if it provides you with the funds to go trail-walking at weekends or pays for your kids dance classes or provides you money to use on creating and running a blog, or doing things with loved ones than it's worth it. While asking if people want fries with that, or if they want to wear it now, may not feel like it, you may be the highlight of someones day.
While bloggers have helped me more than I could express in words, sometimes it's the server at the coffee shop, the smile of a bus driver and the hello from a passerby that makes me feel like carrying on.
Maybe people don't chase you down the street, maybe they don't ask for your autograph or photo but that doesn't mean they don't respect you.
Ultimately if you don't respect you, how will anyone else?
I hope you can understand my opinion, though I know some will disagree, none of this is meant in bias or to hurt another. I hope that for at least one of you reading this, it provides food for thought.
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