The thing is we change, we grow, it's completely natural to become and entirely different person to the person you thought you'd be when you were six or seven. We grow and experience life at different rates, from different perspectives and while one persons dream may be to travel the world, another person may dream of settling down and having a family. Maybe some people only dream that they could see a loved one again for even just a day or perhaps they dream that they would like to just smile even once at the reflection staring back at them in the mirror.
Dreams aren't a competition, a race, there's no bar to measure up to, we're given a very limited amount of time to live, all that time is borrowed, so whatever you dream, just begin it. Who care's if it's not perfect, at least once it's started you've taken the first steps towards achieving it.
What happens when you hit the point of happily ever after, we aren't characters that cease to be once the final page in that chapter has been turned, we go to sleep and upon us from nowhere dawns a new day. I was told that once you achieve your dreams, you can make new dreams, but actually that's not as simple as it sounds.
Two and a half years ago I quite a full time job, left a comfortable relationship, moved back in with my parents, stopped socializing with the people I had been calling friends for years and one late night after Googling 'what is the point of life' I happened across Blogger. I was familiar with blogs and had wanted to start one for some time but had no real idea on where to begin with it all, it didn't even have a name.
I just began to write, I wrote about music. I wrote a post that led to another and another until before I knew it, that seemingly irresponsible set of previous choices had led me to a life of passion, I had a new direction, I had a new boyfriend and I had a new perspective.
I happened across a piece of paper in which I had written a list of the things I wanted to achieve and was surprised that I had ticked each thing off, the final one being moving out again.
Except I felt this unnerving feeling in the back of my mind, it would be strongest at night or when I was alone and before I knew it I felt as miserable as I had when everything was placid. I had achieved my dreams, I was happy, things were 'perfect', how could it be wrong? Was I just destined to end up in a never ending cycle of tiring of life, tearing things apart and starting over?
No. You'll be relieved to hear that was not my destiny.
I just had gotten everything I could out of the job I was doing, I needed variety and I needed to be motivated and inspired.
With that I began to look for a new job, it wasn't instant, in fact it took me almost a month, I finally came to the role. Within travel I find myself venturing now and both my wanderlust heart and my motivation have received the variety they needed.
It's been a transitional phase where I've gone from high to low and back again, except now I'm starting to feel like me, more like me than I've ever felt.
As with all transitional phases things can seep into the other aspects of ones being. My blogs have suffered, I grew weary of writing posts because I had to, I wanted to write again because it was something I loved to do, the last 24 hours has been the first time this year that i've truly put my heart into what I am writing, to the thoughts that are becoming words on the screen.
Things are changing, both blogs, how I feel and what inspires me, I am merely becoming the next version of myself and while I am not sure who that person entirely is, I do feel good for making the choices I did in the past month and putting myself first for a while.
It wasn't instant but new dreams are starting to form and while I have my previous list all ticked, I am working hard to maintain the aspects that bring me true happiness.
My words to you, this Sunday would be don't worry if you don't completely know what it is your after, because you know what, just enjoy the day that's in front of you. The answers will appear when you least expect them.
For me, the things I thought I wanted at 16 are a world away from the things I actually feel passionate about now.
I don't have a point by point plan of my next chapter but I know today that is has begun and that this chapter is me, the things I'm going to do and the people I'm going to spend my time with.
It isn't what I thought or dreamed it was going to be, but you know what I actually prefer that. It's more real.
I like that I don't know exactly what's going to happen because it also means that anything is possible.
Love passionately, Travel often, Dream big, Live honestly
LOVE&PEACE
KG
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